The Hangover of Captain America
by Gently-BlueLeaves4080
Summary: and the Invincible British Gentleman! Alfred and Arthur wake up with a massive hangover and no memory of what happened the day after. When everyone seems to be acting differently, they can only guess what happened! Now they must pursue the one question 'What happened' and hilarity ensues! Human AU, Swearing, Under-aged drinking, a little gender-bending, and MAYBE, USUK .
1. Prologue

Arthur woke up in a cramped stall with a massive headache. Sunlight streamed in from...Somewhere, his vision was still to blury to make out where. He wished that the lights would shut up.

All he could remeber from last night was that blithering idiot of an American was begging him to copslay as some idiot called Lori or something like that and fight with him, Captain America. But that still didn't explain why he was in this place and why he wearing this horrid clothes.

Arthur's eyesight had cleared up a bit he could now see that he was in a stable of some sort. But who the hell owned a stable this days and on of this size no less. He breifly wondered if he was in America still but he dismissed the thought. There was only a certain amout of things a person could do in night, right. Right?

And of course that brought him to the clothes he was wearing. A simple collar-necktie, button-up cuff, and black apron. He never seen anything anthing more ridiculous in his life. Exept for Alfred's clothing, now _that _was hideous. Speaking of which, where was the American anyways?

He looked around the small stall. He could now tell that the light was coming through a crack from the wall. With a deep breath, he slowly got to his feet. Bad idea, he fell down at once with an even worse ache throughout his body.

He positioned his body in many different-and painful-ways and finally stopped once he decided that the fetal position was good enough. What he would do for a glass of water though. Finally the pain eased somewhat by a fraction, he started to get up again. This time he managed to stay on his feet before he was hit with a wave of light-headedness and dizzyness. His vision went black for sometime before it was finally over. After that he was feeling considerably quite better.

He began to walk over to the door he had noticed before and pulled it. Only for door to not budge. He tried again. Locked.

'_What the bloody hell?_ _I'm locked! Who lockes an empty stall in a stable with no bloody horses!_' He thought feverently. He began to panick and in the moment he the door. It swung open. If his headache hadn't been there, he would have face palmed. Of course, you _pushed_ the door open.

He wandered out of his stall, eyes falling on a coat rack. There was a pink riding shirt adorned with sparkly white sequins and patterned with shiny glittering white hearts. Though girlish, it was obvious that it was suited and tailored for a man. He grudgingly put it on. It was better than nothing.

Arthur then walked over to the other stalls figuring Alfred would be in there somewhere. He wasn't all of them were empty save for two which actually had two live horses-or rather ponies- in them.

'_Well the idiot cound't have gone far_' he thought, annoyed. He was right. Alfred was lying in one of those trough things were the horses drink water. He looked like a genuine pig. Arthur was tempted just to leave leave him there but thinking he could drown, he began to wake him up (but not before looking both ways, making sure that nobody was looking, and drank a good deal of water near Tapma bay, Florida).

Arthur gently shook his shoulder but, upon seeing that he wasn't waking up, increased his pressure till one point he gave up the mild gestures entirley and began slapping him. The American finally awoke.

"Dude what happened and where are we?" he asked blearly. He rubbed his eyes and began to sit up. He was clearly not in as much pain as the Brit.

Arthur sighed, he was hoping Alfred could remember a little bit more than he, but sadly that was no the case.

"Ugh, dude as much as I like the view as the next guy, get your ass outta my face and put some pants on." Alfred said with mild humor that he wasn't feeling. Arthur turned fiftey shades of red and turned around pulling the shirt down. Too bad it was silk not cotton. "Awh, dude, here, just put this on." he said reaching for his jacket around his shoulders only to find himself jacketless.

He gasped, he never went anywhere without his bomber jacket. In fact looking at himself now, he relised that he was wearing the clothes of his all time favorte super hero, Captain America.

"Dude, seriously what happened last night." he asked again though knowing the other knew as much as him. Arthur shrugged and said, "I don't know what happened but I think I know where we are." He gestured to the the stables. They were hot pink.

"Oh dude, no...How did we even...?" There were in Felick's house-orstable to be exact-miles away from Alfred's and even Arthur's house.

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**What happens when you watch the Hangover, the Avengers and see a picture of Steve Rodgers with glasses on making him look like America? Shit happens that's what, or this case this story. The beginning was probably boring but it get better I promise~! Though I probably won't update this anytime soon since I have my other story. This was just to prove to my friend that I'm not all about Satire, Romance, and Tragedy!(Throws _Othello_ to the corner of the room) Hah, take that I can write something humorous for once! Anyways like I was saying may not update in a while so yeah. Till then, See ya~! **


	2. Pony Madness

**Alright, I lied I'm back faster but only cause its been in my head for some time and I need something happy. Anyways, Enjoy~!**

* * *

After finally mangaging to get Alfred out of the trough, they headed over to Felick's house. If they wanted to find out anything then they had to at least ask around. Plus England still needed some proper pants.

As they approached they rather large house, they noticed that the whole house was painted in wicked hipster pink. If they had any doubts of whose whos house this was, it was demolshed. Only one certain Polish boy would paint it this way.

They were at the door now. Alfred bombarded the doorbell before pounding on the door like a madman. There was a rush of footsteps and then the sound of someone fumblibg to open the lock. Of course, who wouldn't be scared at this sounded intrusion?

The door opened to reveal a very nervous Lithuanian. He looked a bit releaved to see it was just them but worideness marked his face.

"Who is it Toris?" asked another boy. He was hiding behind the Lithuanian and peeked out over his shoulder. Once he saw who it was, his temporary shyness disappered and he turned to his usual self.

"Oh it's like, you guys. Like what do you want. You like, totally ruined everything! My poor ponies are like scarred for life! And is that like, my shirt? Fine like, keep it and put some pants on too!" After every word, his volume increased Arthur turned red at the last part that was clearly addressed to him. He muttered a short thanks. After that the two inside stepped aside to let the other two in.

Once Arthur had obtained some seriously tight pink skinny jeans, they sat in Felick's living room.

"So dude, you got to tell us what happened last night." said Alfred.

"Oh man you guys were like, so crazy, especially Arthur in his waiter costume! Like, I don't know what you guys did all night since you like, came here last. But like you guys were totally drumk! Then you guy like, started to ride on my poor ponies! Once Toris managed to get you guy off, you like totally crashed at my stables! I didn't want to disturb yo guy like, in case you were making out but that was like totally uncool~!" After filtering out the likes and totallys, they started to apologize feverishley. They also noticed a hoof mark on Toris's forehead, oops.

Seeing they had nothing left here to do, they left with apologies and thanks. According to Felicks, they had come from the west. But that only mean they went to a certain German's house. Things were not looking up.

"So...dude since we kinda made out or something doesn't that mean were a couple?"

"Bloody hell! Of course it doesn't you git! We didn't even make out! We were in different places too! Use your brain for once you twat!" Arthur snapped. Though he couldn't deny the dampness in his hair when he woke up. The only way could have got wet was if he was near the trough at some point too.

'_No it not like that its just sweat...Yeah just sweat nothing more nothing else._' he though to himself

Alfred's obnoxious laughter filled the air.

* * *

**In case you haven't noticed, the houses are set a bit geographically, check west of Poland if you need proof. :/**

**And I wonder if anyone got the reference in the first Ch. about Tampa bay, think Florida in case you didn't figure it out. I'm so dirty XD.**


	3. Parties that Sparkle

**Well after seeing how much publicity this got by the second chapter, I decided to continue this faster~! Only I'm not quite sure where this story is going myself. I was planning to figure that out after the first chapter when I said to go on Hiatus so sometimes this story may seem pointlessly dragging and one point so sorry~!**

**Also to **Jacalyn** thanks for reading and reviewing but if you mean** **that they're supposed to be countries in this sadly it not. Sorry but I hope you'll keep reading. When you think about it, most of this could apply to the countries and that would eliminate the problem of underage drinking.*head desked* Why didn't i think of that.  
****Anyways,Enjoy~!**

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They stood infront of the Germans' house, neither wanting to knock on the door. There was a seventy percent chance that Ludwig would come and open it and they'd have to face the German's wrath. And there was also a thirty percent chance that Gilbert would open the door and then probably start ranting about how _awesome _he was and how they weren't. Neither of the options looked good.

"Ciao~! What are you guys doing here. Are you here to visit Ludwig too~" a cheery voice came up from behind them. To the startled American and Brit though, it sounded like the very voice from hell.

Alfred screamed. Feliciano, startled, started to scream too. And, just for the sake of it and not wanting to be left out, Arthur screamed along with them too.

The door swung open. "What ze hell iz vrong with you people?" yelled Ludwig, letting his German accent show in his rage. Arthur immediatley stopped screaming. He turned a bright red and coughed and cleared his throat. Feliciano had too, stopped screaming at th sight of the German and wiped his tears that had built up in the corners of his eyes. "Ve~ Ludwig." he brightened up.

Alfred however, who had been facing Feleciano, now turned around and started screaming in the German's face. Even when he ran out of breath he took another and kept on going and going till his voice was hoarse. His face was inching closer and closer to Ludwig's own and he started jumping up and down while keeping his face level. When his face was but naught a hair width away, flecking the other in his saliva. Ludwig got fed up more then he already was and shoved Alfred's face away with his hand, sending the American flying backwards and landing on his behind.

Wipping away the spittle with his sleeve he yelled, "What do want know? If I was in no mood to see you before, now I want your faces eradicated off the face of the Earth!"

"Ve~ Ludwig calm down" said the smaller Italian,"They didn't mean it and it was my fault too for scaring them so don't be mad at them." He was clinging to Ludwig and began to wail again. And a sad Italian equaled an angry German. Or even more angrier than possible and defenatly not healthy.

Ludwig appraoched them slowly, not because he was giving the a chance to run away but rather savoring the moment and the looks on their faces, much like a predator does to its prey and Alfred wondered what Ludwig made his wurst out of.

Arthur slowly backed away but Ludwig ignored him. He only cared wheather or not Alferd would live to see tomorrow. Feleciano tried to pull him back in vain attempts, he couldn't even lift 30 pounds for God's sake unless it was pasta and Ludwig was _not_ pasta. But he _was_ delicious eheheh.

Alfred, still on his butt, scrambled backwards still his back hit a tree.

'_Well this is the end _' he thought and closed his eyes

"Oi West, take a chill pill, what 'er you tryin' to do? Kill him?" Alfred thought he was probably never more happier to hear the albino.

"Yes, now move before I do the same to you bruder."

"Wait wait wait!" yelled Alfred, "If your gonna kill dude then at least tell me why. Other than the fact you know,...I screa-yelled in your face."

Ludwig narrowed his eyes then turned around walked backed to his house with a simple come. Arthur went after him followed by Feleciano, Gilbert, and then a very hesistant Alfred. He lead them to the living room. The place was an abolute mess. Furniture strewn here and there and various food items were littered here and there along with a shit-load of glitter that would make even a glitter princess jelious. All in all it looked like a sad, failed, messed up version of a German sparkle party. It was also the same that matched Alfred's version of one.

"Haha dudes, you throw a party or what? Plus you got a ton of sprakles and your German so it's a German sparkle party!" Exclaimed Alfred. Then he saw the llok on Ludwig's face."Oh..."

"Kesesese~! That was the most awesojme party ever!" said Gilbert. Looking at him closley, you could see that he he was sporting a black eye cleverley covered up by powder. Suprising that you could get it ghost white, huh.

Alfred's eyes fell on something lodged into the wall. It was shield. No Captain America costume was complete without it! He ran over to it. Almost half of it was stuck in the wall. He grabbed it and pulled. Somehow, with his strength, he managed to pull the out sheild that Gilbert couldn't and was working on for the past five hours. It came came out with some plaster and paint.

"So we did this didn't we?" asked Alfred though he already knew the answer.

"Yes you dummkopfs and mein idiot bruder."

"We're terribly sorry, Ludwig and we'll clean it up right away but did we do anything else?" said Arthur.

"Ah...W-well, you-" he turned red and looked flustered

"Oh come on, say it already West or I will. You guys had sex with each other!" Gilbert practically yelled it.

"Wait WHAT?" Alfred and Arthur in unison.

"See? You already make the perfect couple. So just admit it already! Hiding it is so unawesome."

"But we're not." "Did we really...?" "We couldn't have!" "Not with him." They said flustering around for their sentences and colliding them with one-another.

"Ve~ What 'Sex'?" asked Italy "I think big brother France mentioned it before but I forgot what it meant. Is it some kind of candy?"

Gilbert laughed."Kesese~ you never told him West? Fine, then the awesome me shall tell him!" Sex is something you do to the person you like a _lot_ love in fact. And then when there ready you-"

Ludwig shoved a fist in his face effectively cutting him off. "Shut the hell up before you scar him."

"Ve~ But I like Ludwig a lot, does the mean-"

"NEIN." Ludwig yelled, "Just forget it about it and don't think about it." "And as for you two," he looked over to Arthur and Alfred "Nothing happened between you two, you just disapeared into a closet for sometime, nothing else. Now clean up this mess!" Way to take the intimacy out of things Ludwig.

Once the managed to restore the living room to its proper state they bid their goodbyes mixed in apolgies. Gilbert, being the one to spot them first when the arrived said they came from the south-west, that was not a good sign.

On there way there, Alfred noticed something stuck to his sheild. A small tiny pocket mirror. He pried it off. It was a very lady looking hand mirror.

"Dude, I didn't know that you were into this stuff." He showed him the mirror.

"What the bloody hell are you taking about?" He looked at the mirror. "I would never carry a bloody ladies mirror with me!" He said while self-consiously finguring his pocket that contained his very gentlemanly mirror.

Alfred sniffed the mirror it smelled of sweet prefume, Monaco's? He sniffed it again. This time he got a faint smell of chocalate, Belgium's? And then he caught it. His stomach sank to his knees. There was faintest smell of cheese that only an extra-double-cheese burger eater could sniff out. There destination was finalized. Lili Zwingli's. A.K.A. her brother's Vash Zwingli.

* * *

**I hoped you enjoyed the Gerita fluff but if you don't like the pairing well my head cannon says he would act that way so...well not the pasta part but...Oh and yes, i meant to say Belgium and Monaco I couldn't find name for them so yeah...Till then, See ya~!**


	4. Pocket Mirrors and Condoms

They sat Vash's table table sipping tea (and coffee), an awkward scilence developed between them. Well, at least for Alfred. Neither of the Brit nor Swiss cared for it though. Mabey it was a European thing.

Finally when Arthur finished his acursed tea, he looked up and said, "So how is your sister, Lili? Fine I hope."

"She was okay but know shes been acting strange as of yesterday. I can't figure out why but when I do its not going to be pretty" he said, eyeing his gun collection. "I bet it was that French pervert. When I see him I'll fire a bullet through his ass." he mumbled some other unfavorable stuff about Francis and even mentioned something about Antonio and Gilbert.

"Hahaha, who would do something as stupid as to upset your sister I pity them. Mabey they were drunk as hell and wanted to live life and party like in the movies and yolo you know?" said Alfred feeling very nervous. He wasn't a very good lier -Heroes don't lie!- and whenever he did he tended to blab.

Arthur looked at him worridely. The had known each other for some time now and he knew when Alfred was lying. Oh and thats right, he hadn't told Arthur about the who the mirror belonged to yet. Oops.

Vash frowned, "Why are you guys her anyways. While Alfred's a slacker and a freeloader why my place? And Arthur, you don't usually drop by unexpectedly, and I never realised you like pink so much."

"Why your place? Well why not? And freelaoder? I resent that. I mean-"

"Well we happened to be in the area and well, we...Got lost, yeah thats it." Arthur said, cutting Alfred off.

Vash nodded, still suspicious. He got up and cleared the table free of its tea (and coffee!) stuff. He left the room momenteraly to put the stuff away.

"You bloody git! What did you do now!" demanded Arthur, keeping his voice at a whisper level.

"Whaaat, mee? I didn't doooo anythiiing." he said avoiding eye-contact and stretching out his sentences unnecissarily.

"Come on, spill it already, your a terrible liar."

"No I'm not dude. Take that back." Alfred said, pride wounded. Arthur punched him in the shoulder. Though it didn't hurt he stopped playing around.

"Alright, you know how I found my a mirror stuck to my sheild?" Athur nodded. "Yeah well, I think it might be Lili's."

"What? You idiot! that means we did come through here! Why didn't you tell me earlier!"

"I'm sorry! But it-"

A girlish scream pierced through the air. They looked to find Vash starring at them in morbid horror. Another Vash came out of the kitchen. Oh wait, the one that screamed had a purple ribbon one. It meant that it was Lili.

"Lili whats wrong?" demanded Vash. He was holding a gun that came seemingly out of nowhere, readied and loaded.

"U-uh nothing I-I just saw a...spider thats all." she dismissed

"What! Spider! Where? Where is it? Let me kill it!" yelled Alfred as he jumped into the Brit's lap.

"Get off me you git!" Arthur said, pushing him off. Vash sighed, "Well if you're just here to cause trouble just leave already. Do you know how much that tea and coffee cost?" He set his gun down and opened the door.

"I'm going to step out for a while. And if you dare do _anything _to Lili, I'll kill you." Then he walked out closing the door behind him.

"U-uh is this yours?" asked Alfred showing Lili the pocket the mirror. She brighted up instantly. She took the little mirror from him, looking it over.

"Thank you very much, I was looking for this, big brother gave it to me." She looked at very fondley. "But why are you guys here?" she asked innocentley.

'_Might as well tell her the truth_' thought Arthur. "Well last night we don't really know what happened so we're trying to find out, you would happen to know what we did would?"

"Oh yes, I actually do. You were ran past here chasing each other. One of you happened to drop this," she holds out an item that made both boys blush, "I'm not sure what it is though."

"I-its rubber!" "Gum!" Both Arthur and Alfred shouted. Little Lili was confused, "So is it rubber or is it gum?" she asked. "Its rubber gum!" Alfred said hurridley. Arthur face-palmed.

"Oh, so can you eat it?" she looked at them expectantly. "Uh no it...its for 'playing around with'." Explained Alfred, wich was the truth enough.

Arthur took the object from her before she asked any further. "Thank you very much Lili, but we should be going now." He motions over to Alfred and then they left. Leaving a very confused Lili behind. She made a mental note to ask her brother or her friend Elizeveta about, seeing how flustered it made the guys.

"Bloody hell that was close!" exclaimed Arthur. He smacked Alfred on the head. "ow dude, well sorry about that but I couldn't say no Lili. Anyway where are we going to go know."

Arthur paused turning the object, a condom, in his hand. "Francis's"


	5. Pictures that Smell of Maple

Arthur clenched the condom in one hand and raised a fist towards Francis's door and knocked harshly as if it was the Frenchman himself.

They waited. They was some sluggish shuffling from the other side. Then finally the door opened a crack.

A blond head poked out from the other side. "Maddie?" A voice marked with a French accent floated out.

"What? No, you bloody frog. It us, Alfred and Arthur." He said slighty annoyed but not enough to start yelling at him. The said voice that greeted them had put him off.

"Go away, big brother doesn't want to play today." He said in a sad drawling voice.

"At least take a bloody look at us!" Arthur hissed. Francis did so. He cracked a faint mirthless smile and the pair. If this was the usual Francis, he'd start making fun of them.

As for Francis himself, he looked absolutely dreadful. Dark circles had formed under his eyes and were rimmed with red. His clothes were in a mess and hung off his frame as if he hadn't eaten for days even though two days ago he looked fine. And his skin was ghost pale but most of all, his hair which he had so prided was rat's nest with loose strands that had pulled out stuck to his head.

"Dude what happened? You been watching chick flicks all night or somethin'?" Asked Alfred. Francis turned his head over to him.

"You're sister, Madeline, where is she? Is she here? Oh Maddie!" He closed the door and loud over dramatised sobs could be heard.

Alfred pounded on the door. "Dude, stop being a pansy and open up! We just wanna give you something and ask you few questions like what did you want with my sister!?" He demanded.

Slowly the door the door opened and Alfred and Arthur let themselves in.

Francis was sitting on the floor with a blank look on his face. He looked like a dead squashed bug. All the insults in Arthur's voice died instantly. Instead, he handed him the condom. Francis took it with recognition in his eyes. Of course only the finest brands for him. He turns it around it in his hands.

"Th-this was the one I was going to use on Maddie. Nice and easy for her first time." He broke into another waves of sobs that sounded quite comical.

Alfred did not care for the poor Frenchman's tears. "What where you gonna do to Maddie? You weren't planning to fuck her, were you?" There was something threatening in his voice. Alfred was quite protective of his half-Canadian and invisible sister.

Francis glared at Alfred. "For your information, we've been dating for the past year. She was just practically begging to get laid. And we were going to do it last night if it wasn't for two! Be grateful that I am still allowing you to look upon my face."

"Look, we're terribly sorry Francis," Arthur apologized, he seemed to be doing that a lot, "But if you told us what happened last night then maybe we could help?" He offered.

Francis sighed. "Well as you know, Maddie and were going to do it to it tonight till _you_," he spat, "Guys had to come and scare her off. I don't even know where she is anymore! She wasn't in her house and she won't even answer her phone!"

"What!? Dude that terrible! Here let me call her now."Alfred said whipping out his phone. He dialed his sister's number. He waited a few agonizing moments were only Francis's sniffling could be heard before it directed him to voicemail.

"Shit." Alfred cursed. "Come on Maddie, answer the damn phone!" He yelled to the phone dialing the number again. This time they heard a familiar ringtone coming from the left. The followed it leading them in all different directions.

Finally they all ended up in Francis's kitchen. There was a huge walk in pantry were the sound appeared to be coming from. They went inside.

"Oh dude what if ghosts come and then they kill both of you and then posses me and then I have to go kill people!?" Alfred fretted. He was walking at the back of the group for once. Suddenly he screamed. Francis and Arthur turned to him.

"Oh, hehe...It was just a spider." He dismissed, embarrassed. He made haste to catch up with the rest.

The pantry was huge. According to Francis, who had turned to his usual self to brag, it was half a mile big. Arthur's foot suddenly bumped on something he looked down and let a yelp.

"What is it Arthur? A spider or maybe on your fairy friends?" Scoffed Alfred although he couldn't hide the worry in his voice.

"No but you might want to see this." Lying on the floor was Maddeline, beer bottles and maple syrup scattered everywhere.

"Oh, _mon petite ange_!" Exclaimed Francis. He picked the unconscious girl of the ground and carried her bridal style. Arthur caught sight of something on the ground and picked it up the hurriedly pocketed it. There was no _way_ that it was Francis's.

After everything was said and done the left. Arthur showed the item, a picture, he found on the ground to Alfred. He cringed when he saw it and they headed of to Antonio's.

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Mon petite ange: My little angel (If you couldn't guess)

**Aaaaaand now I have a plot. And it only took four chapters, wow. Sorry if you eyes burn, this is probably my longest chapter i have yet, oh my. Ack, I feel like I'm forgetting something but I don't know what it is(don't you just hate that feeling) so if I remember it'll probably come up next Ch. or something like that, huh. Till then, See ya~!**


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